ARE YOU FEMALE, OVER 45 AND INVISIBLE?

Do you feel that somewhere along the way you’ve become invisible?

I write this post about this subject because it’s something I come across a lot and two of my most popular posts on the social media site LinkedIn attracted 1000s of impressions and many comments when I talked about it.

As some of you will know I am a caravanner in the UK. My husband and I take breaks often and travel around the UK in our huge 8m long caravan. It’s our little home from home. We first got it ten years ago as holidays with lots of children were increasingly expensive, so once a year was getting more and more unaffordable with two hotel rooms, or bigger accommodation. A caravan, though not free, helped spread that cost and has allowed us to ‘go away’ more often.

One of the things I’ve noticed on caravan sites, is the number of quiet, unassuming older women. They often shuffle around, not talking or engaging with anyone. It’s less obvious with men.

I do get that to some extent. I’m actually quite anti-social when I’m away because I’m so extrovert when running my business. I do treat these breaks as my quiet time. And for a long time, I assumed others were doing the same. I don’t want to be going on caravan rallies, drinking with other caravan buddies, in and out of each other’s caravans. That’s my idea of hell.

Then last year, on two sites, I got talking to three women who made me reassess that. Those women all started talking to me about how they had hit middle age, menopause and beyond and had lost their ‘mojo’. They were unhappy in their jobs, felt invisible and under-valued in their lives, one by her partner too. We got chatting and in all cases, they later sought me out for advice.

I’m no guru, I’m not a life coach, I’m not a medical or mental health professional. I run a micro business, I’m a professional writer and journalist and I’m still that person and I’ve loved it all — and will continue to love it. And I do think it’s the latter which made these women seek me out. There is something about energy which speaks to energy.

These women asked me for advice to get their lives to a happier place. In these cases, I just told them to take action. Taking imperfect action when you are unhappy can be the first small step to changing your situation. That action might be talking deeply to your partner, it can be…